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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28540365">clandestine</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/mikararinna/pseuds/mikararinna'>mikararinna</a>, <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/mikararinna/pseuds/moonwalker116'>moonwalker116 (mikararinna)</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Monsta X (Band), NCT (Band)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Fantasy, Alternate Universe - Idols, Alternate Universe - Not K-Pop Idols, Alternate Universe - Royalty, Alternate Universe - Superheroes/Superpowers, Ambiguous/Open Ending, Broken Friendship, Childhood Friends, Crushes, Drabbles, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Established Relationship, M/M, Mean Girls References, Necromancy, Platonic Cuddling, Platonic Relationships, Soulmates, Villains, Wordcount: 100-500, soft</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-01-04</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-04-12</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-10 22:47:06</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>14</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>6,748</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28540365</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/mikararinna/pseuds/mikararinna, https://archiveofourown.org/users/mikararinna/pseuds/moonwalker116</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>A compilation of (really, really) short works/drabbles that might never see the light of day, ranging from soft to sad.</p><p>i. hiraeth. - dojae<br/>ii. light bulb. - dojae<br/>iii. warmth. - markhyuck<br/>iv. cry for me. - renmin<br/>v. effleurer. - sungtaro<br/>vi. garden of glass. - renmin<br/>vii. safe. - kunten<br/>viii. just maybe. - kihyuk<br/>ix. tomorrow, tonight. - markhyuck<br/>x. resurrection. - xiaoyang<br/>xi. loved you once. - nomin<br/>xii. in your arms. - donghyuck/?<br/>xiii. crushes. - nomin<br/>xiv. closer. - norenmin</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Chittaphon Leechaiyapornkul | Ten/Qian Kun, Huang Ren Jun/Lee Jeno/Na Jaemin, Huang Ren Jun/Na Jaemin, Jung Sungchan/Osaki Shotaro, Jung Yoonoh | Jaehyun/Kim Dongyoung | Doyoung, Lee Donghyuck | Haechan/Mark Lee, Lee Donghyuck/?, Lee Jeno/Na Jaemin, Lee Minhyuk/Yoo Kihyun, Liu Yang Yang/Xiao De Jun | Xiao Jun</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>14</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>157</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. hiraeth.</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>welcome to my word vomits series</p><p>perhaps consider <a href="https://ko-fi.com/mikararinna">buying me a coffee?</a></p>
    </blockquote><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>hiraeth (meaning)<br/>a homesickness for a home you can't return to or that never was.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"Jaehyun?" </p><p>The male blinked, chuckling awkwardly as the door opened wider to reveal Doyoung. Jaehyun couldn't remember what brought him here in the first place. But his legs took him before he had a chance to process. Like clockwork, his muscle memory brought him to this very house. </p><p>"Dad? Who's at door?" </p><p>The other voice had brought Jaehyun out of his reverie. He stared at Doyoung, eyes wide. </p><p>"I- Sorry, I didn't even realize where I was heading," Jaehyun huffed lightly. "I better go. Sorry to intrude, I didn't mean to." </p><p>Without waiting, he turned around and nearly sprint away. The chilling autumn wind embraced him as he walked down the same path he had come from. If he could run, he would but that would be more awkward than it already was. </p><p>"Jaehyun!" And Jaehyun wished that the voice was just an illusion, a fragment of his imagination, an old memory. </p><p>But it was not. As the source of the voice fell back into step with him and Jaehyun looked to his side only to see Doyoung. </p><p>"You didn't even say hi," Doyoung said, grinning. </p><p>Jaehyun arched an eyebrow. "I knocked at your door."</p><p>"Then you apologized and left for no reason. I was about to invite you in," Doyoung said. </p><p>Jaehyun shook his head. "No, it's okay. I don't want to impose on you and your family time." </p><p>Doyoung frowned. "You're family too."</p><p>Jaehyun smiled tensely, neither agreeing nor denying. </p><p>"Anyways, when did you get back home? I missed you a lot." </p><p>Home, Jaehyun sighed. He was considered to be at home.</p><p>They fell into easy conversation again with each other. Too many years passed by them in the time that was lost. And Jaehyun fell into the familiarity of it, even if they were no longer each other's homes.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. light bulb.</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Holding on is more painful than letting go.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Doyoung let out a huff, his breath swirling in the open air of December. It was cold. He rubbed his gloved hands together then placed them inside his coat pocket, burying his neck further into his scarf to keep warm. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Yet, despite being buried in layers of clothing, it still felt cold. Maybe not outwardly, but his heart felt cold, frozen still. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>There were children playing in the park, throwing snowballs at each other, uncaring of the freezing weather. Doyoung couldn't help but smile. It must be nice to be young, to be carefree, to not have a worry in the world. He watched as they ran past him and their laughters being carried through in the open air. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Doyoung walked away. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Winter wasn't always a favourite for Doyoung. It was too cold, freezing, blank, everything negative to think about was buried in the winter snow. But, Doyoung realized that the season had nothing to do with the negative emotions. Because, in the end, there were no emotions to the season, only human qualities that were thrown towards the pale white blanket. Humans made winter so cold, so empty, so lonely. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>He</span>
  </em>
  <span> made Doyoung feel so cold, so empty, so lonely.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The walk to his house was cut short, walking passed the shops decorated with the festival lights. Any other year, Doyoung would have stopped to look at the display windows. Would have brought himself into those shops if there was a sale. Would have looked for a Christmas gift that was made perfect for the one in mind. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>There was no such thing this year. No such thing in forever after this, maybe. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Doyoung tried to not think too much about it as he finally reached his apartment complex. He walked into the building, headed to his floor and unlocked the door to his house. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It was cold, just as cold as it was outside. As if no one had lived in said house forever even though Doyoung still returned home every day and so did he but it was still so cold. So cold, perhaps, because the warmth that had always been here had vanquished. The fire that had always burned in this house was extinguished, put out; the sparks had disappeared. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He took off his shoes, arranged it where he should and entered. The house was always decorated in a minimalist style but with the occupants of it being like ghosts living in this room, it made the interior look more bare. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>As Doyoung entered, he turned on the lights, just as someone else came out of the bedroom. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"You're home," Doyoung commented as he looked at him.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Jaehyun gave him a polite smile, nodding his head. He was dressed up to leave. "Yeah, I'm heading out though," </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Doyoung nodded his head at this. He didn't say anything else. What else should he say? You should stay at home. I want you to stay at home. Please stay at home tonight. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>I miss you. I miss you and I want to be with you tonight, tomorrow, forever. Please don't leave. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Okay," Doyoung said just as the light he turned on flickered. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>They both turned to look. The light bulb flickered a few times but didn't die. Just kept flickering. On, off, on, off. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"I'll fix that when I get home," Jaehyun told him.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Okay," Doyoung said, nodding his head. He could fix it on his own, but it was always Jaehyun who did it ever since they moved together. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"I'll see you," Jaehyun said, still smiling politely before he walked around Doyoung and left. Doyoung wanted to reach out, to stop him, to call him back. Instead, he went to the bedroom. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>There wasn't even a clarification of when he would come back. </span>
  <em>
    <span>If </span>
  </em>
  <span>he would come back. No see you tonight; not even a see you soon. No telling </span>
  <em>
    <span>where </span>
  </em>
  <span>he was going or when he would return. </span>
  <em>
    <span>If </span>
  </em>
  <span>he would return. No proper goodbyes, not even a goodbye kiss. Nothing, nothing at all. Just leaving the house like a ghost in a human shell. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Two ghosts in a house that once felt like home, once was so warm it melted them inside out, so filled with laughter and love that it was near suffocating but it was still beautiful.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Now was a void space that if they were to be here, to stay here, was more suffocating than being in a cramped room.</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. warmth.</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>lazy rainy days with markhyuck</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>the sound of heavy rain outside was an addition to the sound coming from the television. both serving as white noise in the empty living room. donghyuck curled closer to the pile of blankets he took with him as he laid sideways on the couch. the dreamies' dorm were empty; renjun and chenle were busy preparing for nct china's debut; jeno had a schedule for the show's mc; while jaemin and jisung had run off to the practice studio some time ago. </p><p>it left donghyuck alone in nct dream's dorm. even though donghyuck lived in 127's dorm, he found himself frequenting the dreamies dorm, sometimes even sleeping over if he didn't have a schedule. </p><p>there was something different about staying in a place that belonged to your same-age friends despite them not being there with you in the flesh. it created a cozy feeling, a certain warmth spreading in his chest. it was different from being with the hyungs; while he felt pampered as the 127 unit's maknae, he felt more comfortable goofing around with his friends. </p><p>donghyuck buried himself further into the pillow. the movie playing on screen was long forgotten. when jaemin and jisung left him to his own resort, the rain had started a few minutes later. what started out as quiet pitter-pattering against the sidewalk turned louder and soon morphed into heavy rain. it was a good thing that it wasn't a storm nor was there thunder and lightning; it was just plain rain. donghyuck didn't do well with thunder and lightning. it scared him. </p><p>but this - this kind of rain, the one that was heavy but not too harsh - was just his type of rain. it was comfortable and with the bundle of blankets covering his body, it was the perfect scenario for a nap. the sound of rain mixed with the lowered down volume from the television was the perfect lullaby to lull him to sleep. </p><p>donghyuck's mind was slowly drifting from consciousness, he was in that short state of neither sleep nor awakeness. his mind was about to slip completely when he heard the short click of the front door. he ignored it, thinking it might be jaemin or jisung coming home from the practice studio. donghyuck paid no attention to it, if they were really home, they knew better than to disrupt donghyuck's nap. he was about to drift back to sleep when a voice made him flutter his eyes open. </p><p>"I know I would find you here," mark said, his lower body blocking donghyuck's line of sight. </p><p>"how did you get in?" donghyuck asked, voice hoarse from not using it for too long. </p><p>"jaemin's key." mark replied. he signalled donghyuck to scoot over and the younger male did just that, giving space for mark to fit himself on the dreamies' small couch. </p><p>mark slotted himself beside donghyuck, an arm wrapped around donghyuck's waist while the other acted as a pillow for his head. "how's jaemin going to come in?" donghyuck asked, more to mumbling as sleepiness overtook him again. </p><p>"i'm sure jisung has a key. if he doesn't, well, they'll survive." mark replied, moving closer towards donghyuck until their noses touched. </p><p>donghyuck smiled to himself when the familiar scent of mark's mint shampoo and lavender body wash tickle his nosebud. it was a weird combination but mark somehow made it work. </p><p>"don't you have a schedule?" donghyuck asked, fighting the urge to sleep just to talk more to mark. </p><p>"it finished a while ago, I'm free for the day," mark said. donghyuck hummed softly. </p><p>mark's arm that was wrapped around donghyuck's waist travelled upwards, he thread his fingers with donghyuck hair. the younger male made a soft sound of satisfaction as mark started combing through his hair, untangling the knotted ends and petting his head occasionally. </p><p>donghyuck snuggled closer, to the point where he could feel mark's warmth breath mixing with his between the small gap of their lips. he was about to open his mouth to say something before mark beat him to it. </p><p>"go to sleep hyuck," mark whispered softly. </p><p>donghyuck let out a short whine. he wanted to argue that mark should be sleeping. that mark was busier than him and deserved the rest more than donghyuck did. but his senses has been evaded by mark; mark's scent, mark's touch, mark's warmth emitting from how close their bodies were. and with the sound of the movie serving as white noise, donghyuck fell asleep, the sky letting up for the sun to shine through the window again.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. cry for me.</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>once upon a time, there was a prince. and there was a man, who was determined to steal the prince from his kingdom.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The tension between them electrified. Renjun stared down at the boy in front of him. He said boy but there was nothing boyish about the other male. He stood tall, his figure built like the other knights standing guard in the castle, even his doe-like eyes held a kind of mature, stern gaze that proved that he was no boy. </p><p>"You came for the king? I'm sorry, but my father is bedridden," Renjun said. "You would have to talk through me for the moment." </p><p>It didn't settle well with Renjun that he had to sit on his father's throne. Time and time again he had to remind himself that this would be his future soon. This was his destiny. His father won't be here for long and Renjun had to step up as the king. It was what he was born for. </p><p>"It is unfortunate to hear of the king's situation," The male said. "I wished to speak to him for a reason. I'm not sure if you would be able to relay this message of mine courageously to the king."</p><p>Renjun gripped the armrest tightly. The two knights standing guard at each side of him tensed. They were more alert, more careful of what this newcomer was here for. </p><p>He held his breath. "State your name and your reason to seek my father. I will relay it to him."</p><p>"I'm hurt. Must I really state my name to you, dear prince? I believe you already know of it."</p><p>In the corner of his eyes, he caught his royal attendant moving forward. </p><p>"That is no way for you to address the royal prince. If you have no important business then-"</p><p>Renjun held up his hand. Immediately, everyone settled down. His royal attendant fell back into his original position and the guards surrounding them moved into a more relaxed position. </p><p>"Name." Renjun said, sternly. </p><p>The male smirked. "Na Jaemin,"</p><p>"And your message to the king?" </p><p>Jaemin sighed. "In such a rush, aren't we? Can't we talk a little first? Or does being around me make you squirmish, dear prince?" </p><p>Renjun eyes hold onto his gaze, unwavering. "I appreciate your want to talk to me, dear sir. But I will need you to quit your dilly-dally. I do have a wedding to prepare for," </p><p>Jaemin's eyes darkened. He took a step forward, ignoring the clanging of steel armor around them. Renjun watched as his guards and royal attendant took on a protective stand. But Renjun's hand was still held up and they were not allowed to act if Renjun told them not to. So they stood there, on guard as Jaemin climbed the steps to the throne Renjun sat in. </p><p>They stared at each other, intense, lost, rageful and sad. </p><p>"Relay this message of mine to the king and perhaps to the whole kingdom too," Jaemin said, not backing down from the gaze he had on Renjun. "That if they're not careful enough, I might steal their prince from them." </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. effleurer.</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>effleurer (meaning);<br/>to touch lightly or brush against</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Love could be a lot of things, Sungchan realized. Love could be the warmth of the heater back at his family home, his sister pulling at his hair as their parents sip a glass of wine together. Love could be the smell of his grandmother's cooking whenever they returned to his father's hometown. Love could be the tranquility he basked in as he was surrounded by his friends. Love could be the fall of the first snow in winter, the white substance falling onto your nose, causing you to sneeze, unsure whether it was from the cold or the droplets. </p><p>Falling in love could be many things too. At the sight of a pretty young lady who walked past you in the streets who you will never meet again. At the scent of a fragrance so enchanting you had to turn your head to see what it was. </p><p>At the hold of your roommate's hand. Palms cold to the skin as he cupped your cheeks, smile so bright that it pained you because you wished to have it eternalized. </p><p>"You're going to get cold," Shotaro said, looking at him. </p><p>"You're literally holding my face without wearing any gloves, I think we can know who's making me cold," Sungchan retorted. "And your nose is as red as Rudolph the reindeer." </p><p>Shotaro giggled. And Sungchan found it adorable, adding it to the list of how falling in love could be so easy. Then again, he had always found everything regarding Shotaro to be so easy. </p><p>"Come on, let's go home before it gets too cold." Shotaro said, a shiver coursing through his body before he removed the hands cupping his cheek. </p><p>Sungchan watched as he turned around, ready to head back to their dorms. He sighed, puffs of air twirling in the atmosphere in smokes of white. The distance between them was merely a hand away and if Sungchan reached out, intertwining their gloveless hands, protecting each other from the cold by providing just enough body warmth. </p><p>But Sungchan was too much of a coward. He could never find that courage to hold Shotaro's hand, even if he found it easy to have the other cupping his cheeks like it was no bother. And so he went with the next best thing, walking so close next to Shotaro that their shoulders bumped, the back of their hands brushing together, only a hair's length away from a hold.  </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. garden of glass.</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>
  <em>When your eyes filled with longing<br/>Are searching far away<br/>I feel such loneliness<br/>And want to tell you I'm right here</em>
</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Renjun carefully opened the balcony windows, making sure that it did not creak with his movements. The castle was old and even if it was regularly taken care of, it still had the occasional creaks and whines. He wasn't going to risk it if the windows started making noises so loud that it would wake up the other wing. Or the guards outside. </p><p>He turned back, seeing the door to his chamber safely locked. </p><p>With how ridiculous living as royalty was, locking his door like a normal door with a lock and key was surprisingly unobtainable. The reasoning was that if an assasination were to happen, they couldn't have the door to Renjun's chamber to be locked. It will be difficult for them to bring Renjun to safety. Which was why he had to tie a tight knot ribbon between the lock and handle.</p><p>Renjun hoped that it would be sufficient, which he knew wasn't. The guard outside could easily break down his door but that was a problem for later. If it happened. </p><p>Hopefully it didn't. </p><p>He dropped the chain of knotted cloths down his balcony, tying one end to a pillar. Renjun tightened it before carefully and quietly climbed down his chamber. </p><p>It was insane to think about how a prince, a royal prince who was next in line was out here, climbing down his chamber through the balcony. Like a damsel in distress that has been held captive by his own royal family. Suffering from the pain of royal obligations. </p><p>Which wasn't really far from the truth. </p><p>No, he was not a damsel in distress. He was quite happy with his royal life and his family was more or less bearable. But yes, he was suffering from the royal obligations being put upon him. That was why he decided to escape his chamber almost every night. </p><p>Renjun couldn't run away. His kingdom depended on him. He couldn't risk the kingdom nor his family even if it did kill him on the inside. </p><p>That was why he resorted to temporary escapades. </p><p>Renjun threaded his way to the back gardens. It was secluded and away from the castle. No one would find him there, even in broad daylight sometimes. It was Renjun's special place, his place of comfort. And only he knew of it. </p><p>"You're here tonight too, prince," Renjun turned around, face blossoming into a smile when he saw the figure resting on one of the tree branches. Him and one other person.</p><p>"Jaemin, and you're here too." Renjun breathed out. </p><p>Jaemin smiled at him, reflected by the dimmed moonlight. He jumped off the branch, walking towards him. "I waited for you," </p><p>Renjun made a face. "My father held me back after dinner tonight. It took some time to wait for everyone to settle down." </p><p>"At least you're here," Jaemin said, reaching out to thread his fingers in Renjun's hair. "What would they say? If they knew the prince runs away from his chamber every night to see a fugitive," </p><p>Renjun frowned. "You're not a fugitive, Jaemin. You were wrongly accused."</p><p>Jaemin sighed, hands falling down to cup Renjun's cheeks. "The people don't believe a commoner, Renjun." </p><p>"Then I'll be the voice for that commoner," Renjun said, determined. "I'll prove your innocence, Jaemin. When I become King, I'll release your sentence," </p><p>"Brave promises there, your highness." Jaemin huffed out, shaking his head. </p><p>"And I won't break them." Renjun said. </p><p>Under the moonlit night, his gaze was determined. His resolve was clear. And he had never been so sure of himself before now. A garden with lilies surrounding them, scent so intoxicating it dizzied him. Pulling Jaemin closer, Renjun swore an oath. </p><p>"I'll protect you, even if the kingdom tramples you down, I'll be there for you. Only for you, my love." </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>is this related to the previous renmin? maybe. am I going to expand this universe? probably not lmao.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. safe.</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>"Wait, why did you drag me away with you? Aren't you scared?" </p><p>Kun looked at him, confused. "Scared of what?" </p><p>"That I am like one of those fansites? That I will disclose your location to others? That I'm also stalking you like those girls just now?" Ten said.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"It's not like we can do much. They're still fans and they support me and our group," Kun replied.</p><p>"That's not right," Ten said, crossing his arms. "Fans should support their idols, yeah. But stalking them, visibly upsetting them with their crude behaviour is in no way supporting. There are boundaries and these boundaries are being crossed by them. You can't let them get away just because they labelled themselves as fans. True fans want their idols to be safe and happy."</p><p>"You know, I shouldn't really pick a favourite, but I'm so grateful that we have you as a fan, Qinqin," Kun said, a small smile on his lips.</p><p>Ten flared red. He wasn't sure if he was embarrassed from Kun's gratitude, his smile, the nickname he gave Ten or from the implication that Ten was Kun's favourite. Either way, he was going to die. First meeting Kun, then having a conversation with him and now this!</p><p>"I hope more fans and not just ours realize how important your words is to us idols," Kun said. He took off his baseball cap, pushing back his hair before putting the cap back on.</p><p>The lilac colour of Kun's hair that had been Ten's favourite was slowly fading. He couldn't help but feel sad. It meant that promotions were ending soon. He wouldn't get to see Kun at fansigns or TV shows until the next comeback. Ten would miss him, a lot but he reminded himself that there was always a next time. With Kun, even if months passed, there was still the certainty of a next time.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>ok i might work this one out if i have the time because i just remembered i have a draft of this fhwodmls</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0008"><h2>8. just maybe.</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>is it wrong to think of your friend as something more?</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"Minhyuk, what are we?" Kihyun had asked him one night. When they were tired out of their minds and feeling sore to the bone. Minhyuk looked at him weirdly, like Kihyun just asked the weirdest question ever. What are they? Humans, of course no doubt about that. What are they? </p><p>"Friends," Minhyuk answered, eyes not leaving Kihyun's. </p><p>But then Minhyuk remembered, the times where Kihyun would coddle him to sleep when he was tired or the time he would embrace Kihyun when the male felt insecure. Or right now, as they face each other, sleeping together, fingers intertwined under the covers. Do friends do these? </p><p>"Best friends," Minhyuk corrected. </p><p>And there was something, something about the way Kihyun looked at him that night. Like he wanted Minhyuk to say something more that left a heavy feeling inside of Minhyuk. But then the night passed, like every night they spend together. And come busy schedules Minhyuk almost forgot about it. Until he was reminded of that night again and again. With that came other memories, like that one time Kihyun patted his head and kissed his forehead. Or that time Minhyuk kissed every tip of Kihyun's fingers. Or the goodnight kiss on the cheek they do sometimes. </p><p>Or that time they kissed each other on the lips, hidden under Kihyun's lavender-scented covers. They giggled and blushed, like two love-struck teenagers in school discovering the meaning of love and sweet kisses all over again. But they weren't teenagers anymore. They were two grown-ups who were friends during trainee days and still are even after debut. </p><p>But then what are they? Because as far as Minhyuk could recall no friends, not even best friends give each other casual kisses on the lips. He had Hyungwon and Hoseok to prove this. Because they know each other almost as long as Minhyuk had known Kihyun but not once have he seen them kissing like him with Kihyun. </p><p>So what are they? If not best friends who promised to one day let their kids meet and play together. If not best men for each other's wedding. Because maybe, just maybe, the quiet, unconscious part of Minhyuk's mind wanted him and Kihyun to have kids together; wanted him and Kihyun standing on the chapel together, Kihyun wearing a white suit or Minhyuk wearing a white suit, whichever pleased them the most. </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>this was supposed to be part of my chrysanthemum series but i dropped it hskajdosk</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0009"><h2>9. tomorrow, tonight.</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>
  <em>Chase you down another round until I taste your whiskey kiss<br/>When you're up at 2AM you know that I'll be up in 5<br/>Let me be your tomorrow tonight,</em>
</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>"Going out again?" Donghyuck asked. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He watched as Mark put on his pair of leather boots. His hair was messily styled, his shirt untucked. There was something shining in the dark irises of Mark's eyes. Perhaps it was the shitty lighting at their doorway, perhaps it was the galaxies in his eyes. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Or perhaps it was Donghyuck being biased. But there was something bewitching in his eyes that made Donghyuck feel like drowning. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Yeah. Johnny invited some people to hang at the bar," Mark answered. He looked at Donghyuck. “Wanna join?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Donghyuck gave him a polite smile. “I rather stay in and binge my drama. Maybe bother Renjun if it gets too boring,”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Suits you,” Mark replied, grabbing his things. He opened the front door ready to leave.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Don’t come back too late!” Donghyuck called out. “And don’t drink too much,”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Mark laughed from where he stood. He turned back to look at Donghyuck. “You’ll pick me up if I get too wasted at 2AM, right?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Don’t count on it,” Donghyuck said. Mark merely smiled at him. He slipped out their front door, the door closing with a click. Donghyuck waited a second, two.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He wasn’t sure what he was waiting for either. The drama he had on the television screen had long been forgotten. After what seemed like hours passed by, one of the doors to the bedroom was opened. Donghyuck turned around. He saw Renjun looking at him, comfortable in his pajamas and probably a minute away from falling asleep. Yet here he was, a calculating stare over Donghyuck. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“He left?” Renjun asked. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“A few minutes ago,” Donghyuck confirmed, nodding his head. “You didn’t tell him you wanted to join?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Renjun arched an eyebrow at him. “Are you sure you’re not the one who wants to join him?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It doesn’t work like that.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“And what does, I wonder?” Renjun inquired. “Getting woken up at 2AM by a phone call from someone wasted at a bar? Saying you’ll be there in five minutes while you groggily drag yourself out of bed to fetch him? Having him oblivious to your feelings while the rest of us see how much pain it causes you?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s fine, Renjun-”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Are you sure, Donghyuck? This happens bi-weekly now.” Renjun answered. “Mark goes out, have some fun, probably make out with some girl-”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Renjun-”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“And here you are, on our worn out couch, hoping it to be you. Yet nothing changes. Every night you’ll continue to worry for him while he’s out there-”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What do you expect me to do!?” Donghyuck lashed out, standing up from where he was seated. “Tell him I like him? Have my heart broken? Ruin our friendship? Is that it? He does not see me that way, Renjun.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Then make him see,” Renjun reasoned. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Donghyuck shook his head. “That’s not going to happen. Because I’ll never be his today. I’ll never be his now or later or future or ever. I’ll never be his,” </span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>most of these drabbles are based off songs!! this one is based off tomorrow, tonight by loote honestly im in love with this song</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0010"><h2>10. resurrection.</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Being a necromancer, Yangyang had seen various kind of people. He had seen those who mourned the lost of a loved one, begging him to resurrect them back to life. He had seen pet owners crying over the death of their beloved, wanting them to return to them and bring along the comfort that they once hold for them. He had seen many cases, all asking for the same thing – return them back to me. </p><p>Yangyang couldn't lie and say he didn't hurt for them. Death was inevitable, death would always come, even if a necromancer existed in this plane of universe. </p><p>He helped them where he could, as much as he could. But sometimes, sometimes Death loved them better. And it was true. </p><p>Death did love them, just as much as Life did. He would say that time had come for Death to take them back. Because it was true, the time had come for Death to take them back. Certain cases, they were just too severe to be brought back to life. Their souls had float away, tugging at Death's sleeves, asking to be taken away. </p><p>When these cases occured, Yangyang couldn't do much. He could only wished them well into the afterlife and break out the saddening news to the one who had came to him for help. Some of them were understanding, others would have lashed out. As much as Yangyang wished to help them, there was only as much that he could do. Death loved them better. </p><p>So, in the past 21 years of his life that he had known he knew necromancy and the past five years he had practiced them, Yangyang had stumbled upon different kinds of people. Some with wishes that he had to double take. Maybe triple take if it really did sounded out of the blue. </p><p>Today, too, he had to make sure he hadn't heard the other person wrongly. </p><p>"I'm sorry, can you- can you repeat what you're asking from me?" Yangyang asked, blinking. </p><p>The male sighed. "I said, I'm feeling so dead inside. Do you have anything that can help me with it?"</p><p>"Dead... inside?" Yangyang trailed off. "Like, are you- are you depressed?"</p><p>"Yeah, I think that's what my therapist diagnosed me with." The male answered bluntly. "He tried to help but honestly? It's not working. I was thinking of trying other methods and necromancy is basically bringing the dead back to life, right? So I thought I should give it a try,"</p><p>"Right." Yangyang said. "What did you say your name was again?"</p><p>"Dejun,"</p><p>"Dejun, right, um," Yangyang mumbled, he wetted his lips, feeling more confused as the second tick by. "You think that necromancy can heal your depression?"</p><p>Dejun shrugged his shoulders. "I was giving it a try."</p><p>"I don't- I'm not sure it works like that," </p><p>"Well, can't say I didn't try." Dejun said, standing up to leave.</p><p>"Wait!" Yangyang stopped him. Dejun looked at him, an eyebrow raised. Yangyang sighed. "Look, I've never tried this before but we can work on something? I'll try to help you out. If you- if you let me experiment it on you?"</p><p>Dejun gave it a thought then he shrugged his shoulders. "I don't mind. It's not a bad idea. I've had experiments with several things, nothing worked. The worst that could happen out of this is I'll be alive and still have depression."</p><p>"Right..." Yangyang mumbled. "So, uh, I'll set up our appointment for another date."</p><p>"Yeah, sure. I'll leave you my number."</p><p>Yangyang stared as Dejun left his number on his opened notebook. There was something heartbreaking when he looked at Dejun. Pretty and fragile, maybe a little lost. Frightened. </p><p>Perhaps, he could work on something. </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0011"><h2>11. loved you once.</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"I'm sick of this," Jaemin said, stabbing his bowl of salad. </p><p>Donghyuck eyed the innocent food pitifully. Poor salad. Didn't do anything wrong and yet suffered from the wrath of Jaemin. </p><p>"Come on, Jaemin. The salad isn't even that bad. Why'd you even order it if you didn't want to eat it?" Donghyuck said. </p><p>"I'm not talking about the damn salad, Donghyuck! I'm talking about him." Jaemin hissed, pointing his fork behind Donghyuck. </p><p>Donghyuck turned around just as the door opened and a bunch of rowdy boys came in. Among the boys, one particularly stood out with his eye smile – Jeno. Ah, Jaemin was certainly referring to that person all right. He watched as Jeno's eyes glanced briefly at their table before he looked away immediately, rushing over to the other side of the cafeteria. </p><p>"What happened between you and Jeno anyways?" Donghyuck asked, turning towards Jaemin again. </p><p>"Mistakes," Jaemin grumbled as he stood up, salad forgotten. "And I'm going to fix it."</p><p>Jaemin marched up the table, watched as Jeno conversed with his friends. Those friends used to include Jaemin too. Fine then. This would be their last conversation and if Jeno refused to say more then he could have those rowdy boys as his friends. Don't even bother coming back to Jaemin. </p><p>"We need to talk," Jaemin said, standing right beside Jeno. </p><p>"There's nothing to talk about." Jeno said, not looking at him. </p><p>"Oh, wow, look. You avoided me, didn't answer any of my texts and now you won't even talk to me." Jaemin hissed, the table now quiet. </p><p>"Like I said, there's nothing to talk about." Jeno replied. </p><p>"Oh, please. There is something to talk about." </p><p>"No, there is not."</p><p>Jaemin let out a weak laughter. "What? You're going to avoid me forever? Not even going to tell me what the hell did I do wrong? Wait no, I absolutely know what it's about Jeno. But an answer – a rejection would've been better than whatever the fuck you're trying to do."</p><p>"I don't owe you an answer, Jaemin." Jeno told him. "We made this clear."</p><p>"No, <em>you</em> made it clear." Jaemin spat out. "Told your best friend you loved them once and suddenly you're taken off their friends list. Not even an acquaintance anymore. I would expect you to reject me, Jeno. Told me off for being disgusting for liking my best friend and jump on the hate me train. Not cowering away like a coward."</p><p>"I'm not being a coward!"</p><p>"Well you sure fucking are right now." Jaemin hissed. "I thought you would have at least preserve our years of friendship, appreciate it at least. But I guess I'm just like all of your throw aways." </p><p>They stared at each other. The cafeteria had gone quiet, picking up on their argument. Jaemin couldn't care less. There was no more face for him to save, already thrown it out when he confessed to Jeno, only to be ghosted. Jaemin chuckled weakly. </p><p>"Thanks for the friendship, Jeno." Jaemin said, looking away. "Nice to know I cared a little. I guess that's the end for us. Goodbye." </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0012"><h2>12. in your arms.</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Donghyuck grumbled under his breath, wrapping his robe over his body as he climbed down the flight of stairs. The insistent ringing of his doorbell was starting to piss him off. Who the hell was interrupting his beauty sleep? </p><p>It was three in the morning and he had classes in a few hours and he still has that take over the world plan to review. Donghyuck needed his beauty sleep but he couldn't get any because there was ringing on the doorbell of his lair. </p><p>(Don't ask why there was a doorbell at his lair. Sometimes Donghyuck had parcels sent to him at his lair's address and he quite enjoy the presence of his mailman while he was in his suit. Nothing makes a mailman quiver more than handing over a package to Neo's infamous villain.)</p><p>Donghyuck sighed, already reaching his front door. The bell hadn't stopped ringing and Donghyuck wanted to pull his hair out. </p><p>"Coming!" He groaned, unlocking the complicated locks on his door. </p><p>Donghyuck expected a craze man; maybe the mailman disturbing him at the early morning for a mail he had forgotten to send earlier but not- not this. He almost tumbled backwards as a heavy weight stumbled onto him. Donghyuck's eyes widened, feeling the undeniable stickiness of blood and the colour red all over his floor. </p><p>"What?" Donghyuck whispered, straightening the man in his arms. His eyes roamed around the body, making sense of everything, recognizing the face that was increasingly getting pale. "Reload?" </p><p>The male coughed, blood spilling out his mouth. Reload – his enemy, the city's beloved superhero, his arch nemesis – the one person Donghyuck had been pissing off was right here, in his lair, bleeding. </p><p>"Sorry," Reload gasped. "Got blood on your tiles. Would pay back. It was- it was difficult. Didn't know where to go. Remembered you."</p><p>"Reload, you're bleeding, fuck- you're dying. We need to get you to the hospital," Donghyuck said, frantic as he tried to pull the superhero up. </p><p>"No. Too late? Maybe. Don't want- don't want people to get in danger." Reload said in between stuttered breaths. </p><p>"Then why the fuck are you here? I know you hated me but seriously? Dying in my fucking lair? Is that how you want to end? Have the citizens come at me because their hero died in my fucking arms with no other reason leading them to speculate that I killed you?" Donghyuck hissed, honestly angry at the superhero's stubborness. </p><p>"No," Reload said, shaking his head gently. "Just wanted to see you. If I died, it would be pleasant to die in your arms." </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>many thoughts on who reload could be but i was thinking jeno</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0013"><h2>13. crushes.</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>dreamies x mean girls</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>i have NOT finished watching mean girls because my internet is being shitty BUT </p><p>hey have some dreamies x mean girls ; renhyuckle as the plastics because they are the best</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"So, Jaemin," Donghyuck said, eyes glinting dangerously. </p><p>Jaemin didn't like that look. It was too cunning. He had only been here for three days, how the hell did he get roped into being friends with the plastics? He just wanted to experience life in a real school, not friendship drama. </p><p>He looked to his side, noticing Jungwoo and Hendery at the table in the far corner. Their hands gestured wildly at him. It was their idea that he should 'be friends with the school royalty and dig their dirty little secrets'. But with Donghyuck looking at him like that and Chenle mischievous smile, he wished his parents had stick to homeschooling. </p><p>"Do you have anyone you like?" Donghyuck asked. </p><p>"Well, I just got here..." Jaemin mumbled. </p><p>"Ugh, come on!" Chenle groaned. "You've been here for like three days. Surely there's someone you like, right? A cute guy you have your eyes on?"</p><p>He was brought back to his math class earlier. Bright eyes and a charming smile. "Well, there's this one guy in my math class... His name is Jeno-"</p><p>Both of them gasped, startling Jaemin. </p><p>"Jeno? Like Jeno Lee?" Chenle asked. </p><p>"Yes?" </p><p>"Honey! You can't like Jeno Lee. He's Renjun ex-boyfriend." Donghyuck said. </p><p>"They broke up last summer. Renjun was devastated." Chenle sighed out. "You can't have a crush on Jeno. That's like the rules of friendship. Ex-boyfriends are off-limits. Don't worry, we won't tell him you have a crush on Jeno."</p><p>"Jaemin has a crush on Jeno?" </p><p>Jaemin jumped in his seat. He turned around, surprised to see Renjun standing there looking at him an eyebrow arched. </p><p>"Renjun, I can explain-"</p><p>"Cute." Renjun said, smiling. Jaemin blinked at him. </p><p>Maybe, maybe they weren't all so bad like the rumours said. Because hey, Renjun was smiling at him even when he knew Jaemin has a crush on his ex. <em>And</em> he was the one who invited Jaemin to eat lunch with them in the first place. </p><p>"Do you want me to set you two up? I still have his number." Renjun offered. </p><p>"You... would do that for me?" Jaemin asked. </p><p>Renjun shrugged his shoulders. "Well, yeah. We're friends right? What are friends for if not be a wingman to get the man of your dreams?"</p><p>Jaemin smiled. Perhaps, he could trust them. </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0014"><h2>14. closer.</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"I wanna hug Jaemin too," Jeno heard Renjun whispered softly right beside his ear. </p><p>He couldn't help but smile, head tilting towards Renjun just slightly. The staff were busy; their photographer and lighting staff discussing something while the rest of them wait for the next instructions. They wouldn't catch Jeno in the act. </p><p>And even if they did, what were they going to do about it? They were all a little bit intimate with each other. With the pose that they were last placed in however, it could act as an excuse for them to not move mindlessly therefore having Jeno close – maybe too close – to Renjun. </p><p>"You wanna hug him?" Jeno asked. </p><p>Jaemin was occupied with poking Jisung at the sides, oblivious to their conversation. </p><p>"Yes." Renjun said and Jeno could barely see his pout from this angle. "It feels weird to just be hanging off of you. I want to hug Jaemin too." </p><p>The mentioned male must have sense the presence of his name in their conversation as he finally turned around. He arched an eyebrow at them. </p><p>"Did you say something?" Jaemin asked them. </p><p>Jeno merely chuckled. "Renjun wants to hug you too." </p><p>Jaemin smiled at them. "Can't reach me baby?"</p><p>"My arms are too short," Renjun huffed. "This is unfair. I want to hug both of you."</p><p>Jaemin let out a laugh. Jeno smiled, stepping forward so he could close their gap and Renjun's arms could reach Jaemin. It was still a struggle. Renjun's arms were short. But at least his fingers could tug at the fabric of Jaemin's shirt.</p><p>"I'll hug you all you want when we're back home," Jaemin whispered. </p><p>"I'll get hugs, from both of you?" Renjun asked. </p><p>Jeno brushed his lips lightly against Renjun's cheek, subtle but still there. "We'll give you anything you want, Renjun." </p>
  </div></div>
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